Every story is the most beautiful, thought-provoking, awe-inspiring tale the world has ever laid eyes on–a brilliant, flawless diamond–while it lives inside your head.
I’m currently in that stage right now, where this thing I’m thinking of, this idea, is amazing. It’s going to be the next indie hit–mark my words! People will tell everyone of its greatness, and praise will be heaped upon it for its beautiful, topical theme! Of course, that’s all in my head. In reality, I will try to put pen to paper [or rather, pixels to… more pixels?] and I’ll feel like I’m ruining it. I will agonize over what comes out on the page, writing, and revising–plotting and erasing–until I have a barely-passable shadow of what was in my mind’s eye. Writing is awful like that.
What keeps me going are those times where words fall like spun gold from my fingertips; elegant, beautiful, meaning-filled prose that sounds like it came from someone who knows what they are doing. You’ll know when it’s happening and you’ll ride its wave, like a bird taken to wing until you spiral down to the pavement, utterly depleted.
I am actually scared to put this piece to paper. It has such potential to be a great piece, but I’m worried I’m going to ruin it. I’m so worried, in fact, that I’ve been procrastinating by baking. Yes. Baking. [My friends will be happy–they’re reaping the benefits of it. My husband’s co-workers too, heh heh.]
And while I’m baking, the damn story still swirls around my head. I won’t stop talking about it to my husband, who probably just wants me to write it and stop bothering him with it. [It is a romance, after all…] I’m running out of things to bake. I have literally used all the sugar in my house. It’s the last thing I think about as I fall asleep at night.
This blog entry in and of itself is probably another last-ditch effort at putting it off. I just need to take that first step, to see that maybe it won’t be as far off on the page as it is in my mind. Then I can stop overthinking it.
After all, even diamonds start out as carbon, right?